The Terrifying Truth of the Marriage Equality Referendum

Posters plaster both sides of the street as I trudge up the hill, thrusting my weight against the pram, trying to speed past these posters, which crush a part of me each and every time I see them. On one occasion, I actually burst into tears, luckily my infant was sound asleep, snoring away, and wasn’t subjected to the discomfort of having to listen to my anguished sobs. My anxiety gets the better of me sometimes, that was one of those times.

Sometimes I wonder why we are even having a referendum at all, really, why?
Why does the nation have to vote on this?
Sorry. Why do some of the nation have to vote on this?
Sorry. Why is this even up for debate?
Sorry, not sorry.
Why can’t we just update the laws and the constitution anyway?

I understand that there needs to be a national vote in order to change the constitution, but if the article in question violates individuals within the nation, or is prejudiced in nature, then shouldn’t the article be updated automatically? You amend the constitution, you fix it.

The world is progressing, the country is progressing, but I’m afraid that too many people are not.

There are so many hate filled bigots out there, spewing bilious remarks, bellowing hateful comments, and generally being absolute d!*ks. Those are not the people that I’m afraid of. They are loud. I can count them. What I can’t count are the silent NO voters, those who nod politely, who don’t want to cause a scene, those who have been conditioned to believe that the queer folk deserve less rights and fewer opportunities than their hetero counterparts.

I can’t count those.

I can’t count the thousands of students, or those working abroad, who have tried to obtain postal voted and have been denied.  Young people, being persecuted because they given the choice of putting their education first, or a vote that will affect their basic rights.

Then there are all of those who cannot vote here. I can’t vote, I wasn’t born here, but I live here, my family is from here and in October of this year, I will have lived in this country for literally 20 years… But I can’t vote.

I am terrified. I am. I am terrified that the No voters will outnumber the Yes voters, I’m worried that the count might somehow be rigged and I am so scared that we will never be able to whittle down these prejudices.

My son is nine months old. He is my only child, but I do want more children some day. There is every possibility that my baby boy, will be LGBT and that doesn’t matter to me. There is nothing in this world or the next that I will ever love more than him, and so I am afraid. I am afraid that I will have to look him in the eye someday and tell him that we held a national vote, and the nation decided that he didn’t deserve to love just like everyone else. That they didn’t think it was worth it. I think about this and it breaks my heart.

All I can do is hope now, I hope the Yes vote is  the majority on the day, I hope that someday soon that we will be able to see past someone’s sexuality, and I hope that love wins.


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