Game of Thrones Review – A Dance with Awesomeness Spoilers NSFW

Hi guys and gals….

I really do not care about Jon Snow or Arya or anyone else except for 4 people this week, and those people are Dany, Tryion, Stannis and Shireen. Everyone else can go fuck themselves for a week because they offered nothing except either creeping, following people around or looking into the distance, with an air of melancholy. Yeah, I am sad looking at you Jon Snow!

Let’s start with Stannis. (You bastard)

Prepare for rant in 5,4,3,2,1. You asshole! You complete and utter asshole! Just as I was thinking you could be someone I could like, and actually wish to see on that stupid Iron Throne, Stannis you went and fucked it all up. Like what the hell? OK we all know Melisandre is hot. She does have fantastic boobs and we definitely  wouldn’t mind a look in her black baby hole, but seriously dude. You fucking killed your own child. Those screams were haunting. As a parent who has a child about her age, it truly was disturbing, harrowing and extremely hard to watch, but it is supposed to be. It’s not meant to be comfortable to watch anyone die, if it was then you don’t need to be on this earth. Stannis has now become public enemy no 1 and with Davos away, not knowing what was about to happen, then may the Lord of Light help Stannis when he gets back. Fuck I hope he smashes Stannis’ stupid face in with Shireen’s book, all Misery like. Its sad that the one person willing to help the little lass was the one person who cared least for her, and that was her own mother. This is one of those episodes in a TV show I will not be able to watch again for this scene. It is the talking point of the week and one which shows just how far Stannis is willing to go. But after this does he deserve his destiny? All he deserves in my opinion is a bow to the balls and a spear to the frontal lobe.

Gladiator 2.0

OK so we know that GoT has a 6 million dollar budget per episode, but holy shit did they blow it all on these last 3 episodes? We had giants and white walkers last week and now we get an amazing Colosseum which makes Russell Crowe’s look like a dusty abandoned car park. From start to finish it was a spectacle, and one which will have major repercussions for all of the main characters, not least of all Tryion, who I can only assume is now king of Mereen. Well done Tyrion. Now, level the fucking place and get the hell out of dodge. But the big question is, has Jorah infected her with Greyscale? If so how the hell is that gonna play out? Are they going to move to a summer vacation spot in Valyria? Don’t think Drogon would be too happy about that but then again, DROGON bitches. What an entrance. Mummy is in trouble so I am gonna burn you mother fuckers. Drogon is by far the most natural of her dragons. He knows what it is to be loyal but also knows that he needs to be big and strong for her. Not caged and weak like the others. I am going to love seeing how that all plays out.

Quick notes

  • Oly you little dick do not kill anyone or you will feel my wrath.
  • If Dany is infected does that mean Missandre is infected too? Noooooo she’s hot.
  • Arya needs to get into a groove very quickly. We expect great things from her this season. Not freaking washing dead bodies!
  • The many faced god sees a lot. What does he make of Arya lying to him?
  • Finally Sam for the throne. I love my Sam. 
Michael

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