This post is dark, and full of spoilers…
Warning to one and all, if you have yet to watch the most recent episode of Game of Thrones, and DO NOT want be spoiled, then stop reading, go watch it, and then come back and read this!
Oh well now, not quite a zombie Jon Snow get his mildly chilled undead body cradled by a remarkably surprised Davos. Hold me Onion Knight! This week’s show seems to be all about the confidence, Melisandre seems to have hers back, and she has finally wrapped her head around the fact that Lord Snow could be Azor Ahai. (Theory time-Azor Ahai plunged his sword lightbringer into the heart of his wife, sacrificing his love for the greater good. What if, Jon Snow’s actions leading up to the death of Ygritte, was not the sacrifice, but passing on his cloak and stepping away from the Night’s Watch is?) Dun Dun Duuuuuuuuuuun! The formerly late Lord Commander performs his final duty with unease, sentencing those who betrayed him to death and ending their watch. F*ck you Olly! It was such a sweet mic drop moment as he hands his cloak to Edd and struts out of Castle Black! Sassy.
Everybody needs a montage! Arya is back in the house of Black & White, continuing on her Daredevil-esque training with Blondie No Mates. She recants the tale of who the girl was, while getting beaten with a stick, because, reasons. Eventually not getting her ass whipped, and being rewarded by drinking from the pool of death. Which for some reason, is what gives Arya her sight back.
Some trolling this week, because they just like to screw with us. We finally see the Tower of Joy, except…. we don’t. We get to see outside the TOJ, but we don’t get to peek inside. So we still have to guess and scream into our cushions at the fact that we still have no idea if R + L = J!!! Bran finally gets to see the battle that he heard so much about as a child, only to be sorely disappointed with the outcome. Although at least now we know, that Jon Snow knows nothing, and Bran Stark must know everything.
In other news, Cersei & Jaime show a united front against the small council, only to be well and truly snubbed by not only the council itself, but by Lady Tyrell, rubbing it in Cersei’s face that she is no longer the Queen. At least now we know that those in King’s Landing are aware of the coup in Dorne and we don’t have to wait for them to slowly uncover a very simple and tedious mystery. While this is going on, we discover that Varys’ little birds are the poor children of the streets, innocent and unnoticed by all, thanks Qyburn. Tommen tries to make a stand and show some power, only to be gently won over by the High Sparrow. Come on Tommen, you had one job.
Daenerys has been brought back to Vaes Dothrak, or as I like to call it, the Khaleesi retirement home. Where she basically gets told that she’s screwed, she’s either going to be stuck with the worst First Wives club or suffer a worse fate. All at the whims of the Horsey Men!
Over in Myreen, as Varys gets information, Tyrion gets to sit across from two planks of wood in the forms of Missandei and Grey Worm. The only way those two could be any more wooden is if they were carved from an oak. At least we got a chuckle.
Ramsay, Ramsay, Ramsay, just when I thought I wouldn’t have to see your smug face, there you go, showing up, being cocky, and ruining my day. He’s dealing with the new Lord Umber, a household formally loyal to Stark, but now are hedging their bets with whoever can keep the Wildlings away. In order to secure protection from Bolton, dear Umber bestows a gift upon him, the head of a Direwolf, oh and only RICKON BLOODY STARK. The almost perfect set piece and bargaining chip that Ramsay will need. (And a great set up for the Battle of Winterfell.) Now I guess we’ll see where the chips lie, won’t we?