I Only Needed Wonder Woman to Not Be Awful

I went to see Wonder Woman at the local cinema this evening. The film was a long time coming and to say I was apprehensive, would have been an understatement to say the least. All I wanted, no, all I needed was for the next installment of the DCEU to not be terrible.

Man of Steel was meh, BvS was irritating at best, Suicide Squad was either so bad that it was good, or so bad that it passed good and went all the way round to bad again. Let’s face it, Diana was the best character in Batman Vs Superman: The Hunt For Martha. At this point I would have settled for this film to be good.

So the theatre had one screening today, so naturally I bought my ticket weeks ago, in anticipation. I practically ran there—it was more of a  jog/brisk walking—but I was ready to see Diana of Themyscira in all her glory.

No spoilers.

I cried during tonight’s screening of Wonder Women. Thrice. Maybe I’m a little bit more emotional today, maybe it’s because this film meant so much to me as a fan, as a woman and as a social scientist. Representation matters and oh my did she represent.

Gal Gadot is Wonder Woman. She is strong, she is fierce, she is graceful without being delicate. Her fight scenes are brilliant, she kicks ass in cool boots and is beautifully shot without the enforced perspective of the male gaze. Sure there was a bit of dodgy CGI here and there, but it made up for that with a singing Scotsman and the absolutely amazing Amazons.

The film exceeded my expectations, it really did. I cannot convey how happy I am with this movie and I just want DC/WB to sit up and use Diana as the core of the Justice League movie.

Is One Day at a Time the Perfect Sitcom?

One Day at a Time may in fact be the best sitcom that I have ever had the good fortune to lay my eyes upon, and I’ve seen every episode of friends. This is a Netflix Need to Watch for sure.

It isn’t quite a reboot, where all the characters are shouting Ole & downing sangria, nor is it a remake, it hasn’t brought back old characters with rehashed plotlines no it is far superior.

This is a story of a military veteran, Cuban-American nurse, who also happens to be a single mother, Penelope Alvarez, dealing with trials and tribulations that all of those things bring. This is a story about family, the family you have and the family you choose.

Representation Matters

One Day At A Time

 

Sure it’s a reimagining of a classic white American sitcom, but this Latin comedy doesn’t just tick the “ethnicity required” box. Rita Moreno plays the traditional religious grandmother who cooks and fawns over her grandchildren, and that is the closest you will get to a stereotype on this show.

There are no gangbangers, or wise-ass sidekicks which tend to dominate the Latin representation in TV land. No not here. This is a realm where being Latin adds depth to the characters instead of diluting them.

One Day at a Time fights the stereotypes that are so often projected onto the screen, there are Mexican goths, Cuban LGBT nerds, female veterans and even, an illegal Canadian.

This is diversity at its finest, representation matters, and it makes it clear that this isn’t a Latin bubble. Some shows ensure that all POC characters stay within their POC designated zone, whereas ODaaT is rooted in real life. There are white neighbors & colleagues, there are Asian children, African-American friends and more.

This is in no doubt that the writers room isn’t just a bunch of white guys assuming how Latin people live, no there is a truly diverse writing team, half of which is Hispanic, with people of Mexican, Puerto Rican, Cuban & El Salvadorian origin.  There are LGBTQ+, POC & female writers, which is refreshing.

Laugh & Cry

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One Day at a Time is a juggling act, with joy in one hand and sorrow in the other. Don’t get me wrong, the show is funny, in fact, it’s downright hilarious, See-Schneider’s Quinoa.

But, I have literally been brought to tears by this program. Proper face leakage. See-Buying a Car. ODaaT does a good job at making you care for the characters, for making them multi-faceted and deeply layered. It gave me reasons to care for each and every one of them.

There are aspects of this show that will hit home with you one way or another. Whether it’s a teenage girl discovering herself, a woman fighting for a pay raise or an old man getting a second chance at happiness, it is a beautiful sight to behold.

Is One Day at a Time Feminist?

One-Day-at-a-Time-elena

Yes. Oh sorry, I suppose you’ll be wanting an explanation.

Elena, the 15 year old social justice warrior is the epitome of modern feminism, and the most overt use of it on the show. She fights gender norms, she’s respectful but not submissive to the opposite sex, she opposes sexual oppression & she watches porn.

Schneider, the building owner & manager, manages to be that white guy, like Joey, but smarter, and with glasses, but he is caring and sensitive and he shows it without fear, without regret.

Penelope is strong, physically  and emotionally, except she isn’t always. She’s dealing with an injury, her divorce, her mental health and the wage pay gap.

Each character is flawed and that’s a good thing. No one person is superior to any other, there are no “perfect” characters. When a character is being an arse, they’re usually called out immediately.

It’s okay n not to be okay, you’ve just got to take it one day at a time.

One Day at a Time Has Been Renewed for a Second Season on Netflix

It’s Time To Talk About Gamora

Like many of us, I went to see the Guardians of The Galaxy sequel and to my surprise enjoyed it more than the first. Now as much as I would love to talk about the inverted opening fight sequence, Rocket & Yando’s tender moment or everything Drax does, it really is time to talk about Gamora.

Oh and Nebula. Did I forget to mention Nebula?

I have to raise my glass to James Gunn for this utter masterpiece of a movie, as someone who probably spends more time in the cinema than they should, I tend to get a bit of blockbuster fatigue.  This film  felt fresh, it followed a different beat your usual comic book flick and I loved it for it.

Gamora_gotg

What really caught my attention this time around, apart from Baby Groot who is objectively adorable so shut up, was the treatment of Gamora.

With Vol. 2 being a sequel it would be far to easy to weasel her in as just another love interest, or even some basic eye candy. She is a character in her own right, a voice of reason, hard, determined, compassionate, gentle, intelligent and angry.

Not being  a typical love interest is so important, especially in a modern day action film, or any film that isn’t a romance. Love stories are not necessary, life doesn’t always revolve around love, or at least, romantic, sexual love.

I’m not about to deny that love exists within the story, or that Starlord & Gamora might get together eventually, but it doesn’t revolve around that and that’s bloody fantastic.

gamora-prison

Being angry is important, and it’s a flaw that female characters are not allowed to have, unless said anger is blamed on their hormones, because of course. Gamora is unapologetically angry. she growls, grunts and snarls. Women are allowed to be angry, but not look angry.

Think about female action stars, even when they fight they are poised, stern, determined, never allowing any unpretty rage to show.

Unless of course, you’re Gamora.

Okay, or Nebula.

gamora-nebula

Nebula is intense, so intense that she almost seems out of place in this fun-filled Marvel movie, but I suspect that’s the point. I still find it funny that she could be in any of the recent Superman movies with that level of brooding indignation.

Nebula’s hatred of Gamora has it’s roots in loneliness and love. As daughters of Thanos they were pitted against each other, resulting in resentment that was a bit, well, psychotic.

When the sisters finally confront each other about the children’s intergalactic UFC competitions that they were forced to endure, we are treated to revelations.

Nebula reveals that all she wanted was a sister, not someone who had to win, no matter the cost, with Gamora explaining that she was a child too, frightened to death & fighting to survive.

The best part of this, she doesn’t apologise. So often are women forced or coerced into saying sorry for doing what they had to, when they needed to,from standing up to others and for standing  up for themselves.

Not this time, no apologies, just acknowledgement and acceptance.

Disney Fixed Beauty & the Beast

How the live-action remake patched up those plot holes from the animated original.

To begin, let me say that I have always been a fan of Beauty and the Beast, it has always been one of my favourite Disney movies and as it happens, it was the very first film that I ever saw in the cinema. All in all, I treasured the animated classic, which holds a very special place in my heart.

That being said, the cartoon did have some problems, and by some, I mean many. Even as a child, then of curse, the glorious destination that is adulthood, there were quite a number of things that didn’t sit right with me.

Just ask anyone who dared discuss Disney after a colourful cocktail or two.

After seeing the remake, on day of release like the huge nerd that I am, I can safely say that the story made a lot more sense.

Here are the ways how the live action remake fixed the problems with the original animated movie.

The Prepubescent Prince

beauty-beast-live-action-prince

There has been a fan theory circulating for as long as the film has been around. The theory goes that young Prince Adam is only 11 years old when the enchantress, disguised as a hag, shows up at his door.

So when the decade or whatever passes. he has matured into a buffalo-hound, before being transformed into a real live human prince.

Why it doesn’t make sense.

The real problem wit this scenario is Chip. Chip is very much a child in cup form. Which means that either a) enchanted objects can reproduce other objects, somehow, or b) he had to already be a child when he was turned into a teacup, thus proving that they were FROZEN IN TIME.

Sorry, I just get really antsy about that. Plus, the painting of Prince Adam clearly depicts him as at least a teenager when the portrait was commissioned.

Also, I would like to add that if a stranger shows up to your door,, and you, an 11 year old without any parental supervision, should not be punished, enchantress or no, just because you’re fully aware of stranger danger.

Oh Look a Castle

beauty-and-the-beast-castle

In the original animated movie, no-one in the little town, the quiet village never once noticed that there was a giant castle just a few miles away. Traders, farmers, hunters, not a one ever came across the castle.

There weren’t even tales of villagers or merchants mysteriously disappearing in the woods. Like, are the villagers that self-obsessed, stupid, or willfully blind?

The weirdest part is, not a single person noticed that they were no longer paying any taxes.

Bibbity Bobbity Peekaboo

Well, we found out that the enchantress, not only cast the curse upon the entire household, created a weird weather vacuum, gave enchanted plot devices and erased the memory of those cursed from the minds of anyone who ever knew them.

Off With Their Heads

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The time-frame always made me a little uneasy, sure Disney, make a romantic tale as old as time, but you had to set it very close to the French revolution. Didn’t you!?

Oh yeah, Belle and Adam, and of course their 6 children, because of course, would be living together like a happy family, only to have the villagers storm in again. Except this time they would have no army of teacups and brooms to save them from the guillotine.

Revolution Resolution

Funnily enough, the person that really puts things into perspective is Gaston. In the live-action remake of Beauty and the Beast, Gaston is no mere random dude, stomping about and shooting pheasants. I mean he does that too, but it’s fine.

Gaston is a war hero, he fought the Portugese, which would set the movie after the Franco-Portugese war. So the events would have to take place in the early 1800s.

This means that the castle had to be enchanted before 1792, so they were enchanted for a long time. No wonder teh Beast had terrible table manners.

The Book Store?

beauty-and-the-beast-book-store

This never made sense to me. It’s a book store, there’s like one person in the entire village that reads, and she’s a girl.

Not only do we know that the villagers aren’t keen on literature, but if this dude keeps letting Belle borrow books instead of you know, buying them, how does he expect to keep his business afloat, or by the baguettes?

Quiet Please.

How do you solve a problem like a book store? You turn it into a library, and hey presto! A reasonable explanation as to why she constantly has her nose stuck in a book. It’s the local priest’s library, but hey. You take what you can get in this Provencal life.

Fork in the Road

Beauty-and-the-Beast-maurice

So in the animated movie, Maurice decides to go through the dark and shadowy parts of the woods, instead of his usual path, for reasons. Dude, listen to your horse and stay out of the forest of foreboding!

Forcing his Hand (or hoof)

Instead of making the frankly stupid decision to travel down the creepy road, Maurice is forced to take the road less traveled when lightning strikes a tree, thus blocking his normal route.

Mama Can You Hear Me?

beauty-beast-mother-paris

Not really a plot hole per se, because given the time period, there can be any number of reasons why a woman has died. Childbirth, disease, industrial accident, more disease, etc.

The new movie explains why the mothers aren’t around, SPOILER ALERT, they’re dead. Belle’s mother of the plague, when she was just a baby. Hence her being raised by a man who wouldn’t know how to treat her differently.

The Queen also passed away, but when the prince was a boy. Thus causing him to be emotionally and physically abused by his father, the King. Didn’t even have a whipping boy.

(I’m just going to assume that the Kind died of gout or some other rich man disease.)

We Are The Angry Mob

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Okay, so the enchanted mirror showed the beast, but it wasn’t some sort of magical sat nav, it didn’t show a route to the beast, so how the hell did the original villagers find it?

Seriously.

In the live action Beauty and the Beast, Gaston and Le Fou are led to the fork of foreboding by Maurice, in his quest to find Belle. So they knew to go from there. Problem solved.

Furry Friendzone

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To be honest, I don’t know how he would have even gotten there, because the Beast has very little redeeming qualities. He’s gruff, rude and every single nice thing he does for Belle is at the request of his fixtures and fittings

She leaves and he just melts into a puddle of melancholy. Dude, just no.

In the new version, he’s still rude and whatever, but he shows and gives her the library. He suggests the dance. He makes the effort to sit beside her. To read the poetry that she likes. He actually tries. When he realises that it’s not actually fair to imprison the person that you love, he sets her free.

I do like my love stories to have as little Stockholm syndrome in them as possible.

GamerCon’s Silver Lining

Don’t let GamerCon ruin other conventions for you.

The dust has settled on what can only be referred to as the travesty that was GamerCon Dublin 2017. So I am here to tell you that this  situation, as terrible as it may have been, does have a silver lining.

You may be wondering what could possibly be so good about an unpleasant event? Yes it was a cattle-mart, yes it was poorly organised, yes it treated their volunteers and customers like crap. Oh and they also blamed the venue for all of their problems! This poor excuse for a gaming convention did highlight something, that there are much better cons out there.

mcmdublin-comiccon-starwars

The Irish Convention Scene

Whether you are into cosplay, gaming, sci-fi or fantasy, there are a number of cons all over the country that are available to you. Many of the conventions are run by the same core group of people, many whom I have met personally and have to say, are an amazing bunch.

I love a good con, however, a lot of the time if you’re not in the know, then you don’t know. I didn’t even know about conventions in Ireland until 4 or 5 years ago. Honestly, you don’t understand just how excited I was, that there were so many like minded people like me out there.

cosplay-kid-joker

It’s a Community

The Irish con scene is a community, everyone calls on each other for advice, assistance and a good time. No-one wants to see a con fail, especially with some opinions that are held about cons.

Even at a Comic Con in Dublin, Danny John-Jules (Cat-Red Dwarf) stated that he found convention crowds to be some of the most considerate people he had ever met.

I filmed at Ireland’s first Cosplay Con two years ago, I managed to get my hands on a press pass, which I never thought I would have been accepted for, but hey, they felt that I deserved it, even if I didn’t have 500,00 followers.

It’s not about the numbers, it’s about the experience.

Side note, one of the guys involved was so happy with my video of the day, that he passed on my details to his contacts who ran other, bigger cons. Seriously, they’re so nice.

Family Friendly

The majority of conventions are family friendly. They have sections for all age ranges and the option for family tickets, etc.

Cosplayers costumes and weapons have to be safe, foam only, no metal, wood, or hard plastic allowed. So you don’t have to worry that you’re going to get whacked with a Wizard’s staff and end up with a concussion.

Some, like MCM Comic Con have a kids area, where the little ones can receive a cape, get their faces painted, and lots of kid-friendly activities.

What Cons Are On!?

Here is a little list of some of the conventions happening here in Ireland, this year.

Gaelcon Convention
Octocon
Itzacon Eire
Warpcon
Leprecon
Vaticon
Dublin Comic Con
2ndchancecon
Dominicon
Q-Con
TitanCon 2017
K-Con
UL Brocon
Kaizoku Con Cork

 

There are plenty of other Gaming Conventions out there, that will treat you better than GamerCon did. Do not let one money-grabbing con ruin the Irish convention scene for you.

If you go to any conventions, let me know your experiences, and if there are any more that we should be sharing!

Disaster at Dublin GamerCon

Thousands wait in the rain for hours before being turned away.

Today was a big day for Ireland and the gaming community, finally GamerCon was coming to Dublin, an event every keyboard tapping, joystick wiggling lover of all things gaming, were looking forward to.

I myself even had a ticket for the event, but I won’t even consider it after the disaster that happened at GamerCon today.

What went wrong?

Put simply, the event was oversold. There have been reports coming in that the event itself sold between 20,000-25,000 tickets, however the convention centre can only hold 8,000 at most. There have been families queuing in the pouring rain for 4+ hours, only to be turned away at the door. They have been told that this is due to a safety issue.

Oh then it got worse.

Ask any boy scout, or girl guide for that matter, and they will tell you that preparation is key! Unfortunately someone forgot to tell the head honchos at GamerCon about this and as a result, the situation was an entire disaster.

To begin with there was only one queue, for ticket holders and walk-ins. Which means that even if you had your pre-purchased ticket, you would have to join the queue with every Tom, Dick  & Stanley chancing their luck.

The queues were so bad that..

Fights broke out, actual fist-cuffs. Tensions can rise so easily when you’re standing for hours in the rain and you feel that you have been lied to by the organizers.

Some people actually left the queue completely, decided to stick two fingers up at the event for wasting their time, their money & their patience.

Some individuals abandoned their place in the line to make space for the “crying children” who they felt deserved to be there after the shambles that happened.

GamerCon managed to release a statement

As a first time event we underestimated the traffic flow that we forecast for the event and have very strict health and safety related capacities which we must adhere to. That temporarily impacted our ability to process the queue which resulted in longer than expected wait time for our attendees. We are managing this proactively and expect the situation to ease as the day progresses.

We have offered full refunds to those who decide not to attend and have communicated this to attendees via mobile app and all social media channels.

What others had to say

Inside it wasn’t much better

Were You At GamerCon in Dublin?

What did you think of the experience? Was it worth the wait?

Oh and  if you didn’t get the chance to cosplay at GamerCon, there are plenty of other organised events that won’t make you queue in the rain for four hours.

 

 

Beware! Zoella is Making Teens Illiterate Apparently

Now I’m no huge Zoella fan, I never really watched her videos, I’ve never used any of her cosmetics and I haven’t read any of her books, but now I’m going to grab myself a paperback. Listen old media, nobody puts baby in the corner.


After going through pieces of what I would rather prefer not to call journalism, because all of her words seem to be soaked in bile before she puts them to paper, I can only assume Ms Williams genuinely hates the mere fact that Zoella exists. Perhaps it’s because the share the same forename, perhaps it’s the simple case of professional jealousy or maybe I’m wrong and this Guardian journalist is secretly a huge Zoella fan and she uses her position to blatantly demean the young entrepreneur, in order to drum up even more publicity. However I don’t think I’m wrong.

Every word that this woman has written about Zoella is dripping with disdain, in the rare occurrence that a compliment does manage to make it to the page, it’s always in a backhanded manner. I don’t like generalisations, but this seems to be yet another case of old media attacking a predominant figure in new media.


Zoella had a hobby that became a career because she worked at it. The thing about new media is that it is in constant flux. You have to work hard, stay on trend, create, edit and produce content that the audience wants to see. This young woman dared to make a career for herself in an economy that had left her in a precarious situation. However this tends to be overlooked by the baby-boomers and generation X-ers who caused the recession in the first place, but never mind that.

Zoe Sugg is to old media as Richard Branson was to W.H. Smith

See if you think about Zoella, a girl with an idea, who worked to get where she is, in the same manner as Richard Branson, you might think twice. Branson had a record store, then a label, then many fingers in many pies. Both of these figures have been looked down upon by the conventional establishments at one point or another. So maybe think twice before you start throwing mud guys.

One point that seems to come up about her books is that they are ghost-written. Which, SPOILER ALERT, they’re not. Okay, I was directed to one of Zoella’s Vlogs by Melanie Murphy a few years back, when this whole ghostwriting scandal first reared its head. In said vlog, she mentions that someone was coming over to help with her book. Clear as day. The thing is, having a writing assistant isn’t the same as having a ghostwriter. I should know, I used to ghostwrite for a living. She never lied to her fans, she never hid Thatcher had an assistant or editor, or whatever. This is a non-issue.

The point that I really want to get to, that took me so long to get to, I know, I know, is this concept that Zoella by having a book club or daring to write a book, is making teenagers stupid. Bitch please. 

Zoella’s book club, which I have seen referred to as “glittery” and”vanilla” also comes under fire, because she’s choosing literature that is a bit more Boy Meets Girl than say some Trotsky or whatever they expect people to read these days. Shockingly they managed to glaze over the fact that many of the stories dealt with important underlying themes like mental health, but yeah, whatever.


Storytime-I hate Twilight, the whole saga, I think it’s sexist, demeaning and poorly written. My little cousin, who was like 16 at the time, was devouring these books like they were bottles of water and she’d been trapped in the desert. Me being the hip-happening feminist icon I am today, started badgering my aunt about how she shouldn’t let her daughter read such drivel. My aunt responded calmly, “but she’s reading.”

Now for a bit of context. My cousin is dyslexic and until Twilight, nothing could get her into books. Reading was a struggle, a stress, even with tinted glasses or acetate, it wasn’t worth the hassle. Then here she was, on the third installment, engrossed in the pages. She reads now, fluffy books, heavy books, classics, romance, thriller. She reads.

After trudging through a slew of articles about how terrible Zoe Sugg is and how she’s making teenagers stupid, I have every intention of buying each one of Zoella’s books. In solidarity if nothing else.

I want her books to be good, hell, I’d settle for enjoyable. 

Humans are evolutionary by nature. SHOCK SHOCK HORROR! People read less when the radio was invented, when TV was a staple in every home, when computers became smaller. So don’t you dare blame one girl for encouraging the youth of today to actually pick up a book.

The fact of the matter is Zoella is not the cause of teenage illiteracy, she’s the solution. 

#istandwithzoella

Beauty Protector-Protect & Detangle Review

More Than Just a Leave-In Conditioner

The Protect & Detangle spray by Beauty Protector is a wonder product! The thing is, it was one of the products from one of last year’s Birchboxes. Incidentally, it’s also a Birchbox exclusive with waiting list. I rediscovered it when I was organising my beauty and hair care stuff after Christmas.

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What does it claim to do?

This little bottle of mist proclaims to be not only a leave-in conditioner, but a detangler, that also reduces frizziness, protecting coloured hair and adding shine. Effectively the Protect & Detangle spray says that it will streamline your hair care and blow drying products down to this baby alone.

What does it actually do?

Well, like Ronseal, it does exactly what it says on the tin. I grabbed this one night after bathing the toddler, who has curly hair just like his Mummy. He also hates getting his hair combed or brushed, because it has a habit of getting all totty and tangled. I sprayed this into his damp hair and combed through and for the first time in about 6 months, I wasn’t punched in the face by a damp wriggling toddler.

Not only that, but it managed to help his dry scalp. Oh and the best bit, it smells delicious, like white chocolate, or vanilla. Yeah he actually asks to “skoosh” his hair now.

Don’t get me wrong, I use it too. It’s handy when I have to have shorter showers, or if I need a lighter conditioner that doesn’t weigh down my hair life a wet mop. The leave-in conditioner even protects against heat damage and UV rays.

Is it cruelty-free?

So this doesn’t contain any sulphates or paraben and it’s vegan. All Beauty Protector products are cruelty free, so no bunnies or gorillas were harmed in the making of this product. YAY!

How do you use it?

After washing hair, spray liberally from about 4 to 6 inches away and then comb through. Easy as pie.

Would you buy it?

Yes, yes, a thousand times yes. I’ll be ordering this once it comes back in stock. It works brilliantly and it’ll be great to just chuck into the suitcase, it means less products to hulk about and less hassle for getting ready. Great for blow drying and of course skooshing.

Star Wars Spin-Offs They Should Be Making!

The Force Awakens The Last Jedi But There Are So Many More Star Wars Stories Left To Tell

When the prequels were still in the development stage, there were rumours buzzing around about a Star Wars TV channel and a 9 chapter story that Lucas dreamed up in one of his hand severing fever dreams up in the ranch. At the time it was laughed off, no-one expected there to be any sort of demand for that nerdy stuff, especially after the pitfalls of The Phantom Menace, of which there were many, but I digress.

Now the idea of a Star Wars channel makes absolute sense, no one’s laughing now. Apart from the ongoing Star Wars Skywalker Saga, we’ve had two Clone Wars animations, Star Wars Rebels and a standalone movie, with two more just like it on the way. Oh and those Ewok movies… The franchise is a goldmine, both economically and creatively. Even though Disney say the Star Wars expanded universe is no longer canon, it wouldn’t be too difficult to dip their hands in the bucket and produce movies and TV with the stories that are readily available.

Also, I for one will be sitting on the edge of my seat for the Chirrut and Baze novel, because I need that back story in my life.

Here are 5 of the best Star Wars spin-offs that could be made, in my opinion.

5. Order 66

star-wars-66

Hey remember when Darth Vader went into the temple and slaughtered all of the younglings? Yeah. That was pretty dark. Then Order 66 is implemented and all of the clone trooper sleeper cells go off and BOOM! Jedi massacre.

Most of the Jedi Order get wiped out, pretty quickly in fact. However, we do know that some managed to escape and hide. So there’s the option of a Jedi manhunt, one on one, to clandestine meetings of loyal republicans aiding and abetting fugitive Jedi. Or masters and apprentice making their way together, from outposts to the Outer Rim. It can take nearly any angle, huge battle scenes to intimate escape, the possibilities are endless.

4. Battle of Tanaab

star-wars-lando

Oh Lando Calrissian, you silky voiced suave mofo. First off, if we can have a Han goes Solo movie, then by damn we sure as hell can focus on charm personified himself, sweet, sly Lando.

Back in Return of the Jedi Han quips about Lando’s promotion to general before the Battle of Endor. Then there’s a throwaway line by the general about his “manouver at the Battle of Tanaab.” Okay, so we don’t actually have that much info about it the battle, other than the fact that it might take place during the events of the original trilogy and may involve defeating a pirate fleet. Lando. Fights. Space. Pirates. That will get bums in seats.

3. Darth Maul

star-wars-maul

Darth Maul was always the little Sith that could, or at least should. I always felt that he was such a cool villain that chopping him up and throwing him away like an old coconut always seemed like a waste. He was deadly, he looked cool and of course, those acrobatics.

Star Wars soon realised their mistake and decided that splitting up is hard to do, Maul slaps on a pair of robot legs and becomes the Kingpin of a criminal empire, the Shadow Collective. The thing is, that’s just the start of the story, there’s at least 30 years of story right there.

2. The First Jedi

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With Episode VIII titled as The Last Jedi, why not venture back and find out about the first!? We already know that Luke has sought the first Jedi temple during The Force Awakens, so there is history there somewhere.

This would be a great chance to have a completely different aesthetic for Star Wars, like a planet with limited technology, the rise of force sensitivity, an ancient tale, the channelling of kyber crystals and the first lightsaber!

Or it could even take into account the differences in beliefs within the force, marking the split and the choice of the light and the dark side.

1. The Jedi Sith War

star-wars-jedi-sith-war

I loved the Knight of the Old Republic games, well the first one was better than the second, but it was still pretty decent. Anyway, the Jedi Sith War is definitely something I could sink my teeth into.

Think about it, set at least 1000 years before Anakin was but a twinkle in his mother’s eye, there is a full blown war between the Jedi and the Sith, which is balls to the walls cool. To top it all off, this is way before the rule of two, so instead of relying on one master and one apprentice, there are bucketfulls of  Sith hanging about. Think of how amazing an epic battle would be with hundreds of evenly matched combatants with burning laser swords!

There you have my Top 5 Star Wars spin off stories they should make. What stories would you like to see on the big screen? Let me know in the comments! Oh and or course, may the force be with you.